I was reading a journal entry I wrote this time last year and I’m impressed by just how fast time has flown. It feels like I’m not progressing but looking back, I can see that I have.
In my journal post from October last year, I sounded so defeated.
In one post I wrote about how I didn’t want to be in my mother’s house (sadly I’m still in it) but I’m in a completely different head space.
I don’t feel defeated anymore.
Sure. There are days when I wonder where the hell my life’s headed and why things are taking so long to come together but the difference is that I don’t dwell on that. Those days are few and far between.
I remember how frustrated I was back then about being unemployed and broke. The good news is that now I’m fully employed, in fact, I have 2 jobs and the and news is – I’M STILL BROKE. Don’t ask me how – it is what it is.
I can happily say that I don’t completely hate my life anymore and hey, life’s what we make of it. We can choose to focus on the negatives thereby amplifying them OR we can focus on the positives and amplify those instead. I try to do the latter and it works wonders for your psyche.
Sure, I lack a few things, but I also have a lot of good in my life.
I feel like this has been a year of growth. I’ve kept myself busy and I’ve been productive. It’s helped me shift my focus from thinking about how lonely I am and when I’ll ever get to start my own family to being focussed on bettering and getting to know myself on a deeper level.
I feel like I’ve become a stronger, more positive, and self-loving woman. I’m excited to continue my personal growth journey. I know that there’s nothing left for me in the past and that the best is yet to come.
I’ve stopped getting annoyed about things I can’t change and allowing the negative to steal my joy. I’m not perfect and I still have moments where I let things get to me, but I seem to bounce back from setbacks faster than I have in the past and I’m super proud of that.
My friendships have taken a back seat this year though. I’ve been so busy trying to become the best possible version of myself that so much time passes before I realize I haven’t spoken to my friends in a while. They get it though because they’re also on the same mission as me trying to build their own lives.
If there’s one thing I’ve discovered this year it’s that I’m capable and I should stop doubting my abilities. I never thought I’d be able to handle having two jobs yet here I am delivering and doing my best in both roles. So far so good.
Looking forward to the changes to come.