Ramblings of A Dissatisfied B#

This job-hunting thing is bleak.

I actually cannot believe I am still unemployed. Never in a million years had I ever imagined that I would be part of the unemployed stats.

Honestly thought I’d have found a way to have a steady flow of income by now. Even if it’s not like a whole lot of money but just enough to get a few things done.

I had so many plans for the year but unfortunately, they have all fallen short thus far and they require money for me to be able to get them back on track and one of my biggest struggles is that the people who owe me money just won’t pay me back. I swear, this thing of being nice and considerate often bites me in the ass but I can’t help myself because I’m just wired like that.

Who would have thought I’d be having all these unnecessary struggles and dealing with shit I don’t like at this stage in life because I am still broke.

Man, I hate living at home and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I keep joking about how Onlyfans sounds so appealing to me but there are very few things that I am willing to do for money but sometimes I wonder if I’m really joking… Would I actually be willing to do that?

Every day I’m checking the paper, going on Gumtree, LinkedIn, searching #JobseekersSA on Twitter and sending in my CV and job applications and still, nothing… It gets so damn frustrating and I am truly amazed that I haven’t lost my shit yet. I have subscribed to so many job hunting newsletters that’s basically all that’s in my inbox!

Wonder where my life is going and whether or not I will be able to actually live even just a fraction of the future I imagined for myself as a kid. Right now, I just feel like I am regressing.

My parents sacrificed so much to create this amazing life for me, to give me access to opportunities. They gave me everything I could possibly need. It feels like I’m just letting them down. I have nothing to show for their efforts.

Don’t get me wrong, I am positive most of the time but there are days, like today, when I’m just like, “WTF is this even???”

I know that my life right now is no doubt a result of the decisions I’ve made on my journey to adulthood and finding myself. Those decisions shaped me into the woman I am now. I mean I like her (she’s a hot mess) but she really needs to get her shit together…

Hopefully, by the time you read this, I’ll be in a better space…

Is there anyone out there who feels the way I do right now? Just generally dissatisfied and unsure as to what your next move should be?

*Side note: I’m trying to get my own domain for this site. If anyone ever told you blogging (and all that comes with it) was a walk in the park, they were lying to you, okay? This shit ain’t as easy as it looks hahaha

If by the time you read this my web address has changed then just know that I won the battle!
xoxo

One thought on “Ramblings of A Dissatisfied B#

  1. I like this website so much, saved to bookmarks. “Respect for the fragility and importance of an individual life is still the mark of an educated man.” by Norman Cousins.

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