I was watching YouTube the other day. One of the vloggers was reading a letter he wrote to his younger self and it got me thinking …maybe I should do the same. So here it goes…
Dear younger me
There will come a time in your life where you feel you’ve reached the end of your line but trust me, you have not. You will be bent and broken in ways you never thought possible but fear not, you will persevere.
You will go to what you thought was your dream school since your pre-teens and you won’t feel as accomplished as you thought it would make you feel when you get there. Here is when you will start to question what life is really about.
You will try so hard at varsity but find that something is just not right, you will fail over and over and over again and start to feel like you’re just digging yourself into a deeper hole and drop out. This will lead you to feel depressed, worthless and stupid.
This is when you will decide to move back home and tell your parents you are done. Your mom will tell you that she knew you couldn’t handle it. She will never understand but that’s okay. You will come to find that she is only human and that not everything she does is right, she is also finding her way.
You will fall madly in love with a guy you know is bad for you and he’ll break your heart like it’s never been broken before. Then you will become depressed, question your self-worth and your life will feel like it’s on a downward spiral because so many things seem to be going wrong at once; but this won’t be the end.
You will even start to question if love still exists and think that maybe you just don’t deserve it because there’s something wrong with you but believe me there isn’t. Your faith in men will disappear then later realize you’re stronger for having gone through all of the crappy parts of a relationship. You will go through things that should break you but they won’t.
Take your time when it comes to love. There is no need to go looking for it because it will find you when the time is right. Concentrate on bettering yourself.
Study harder and don’t waste time because once it’s gone, you will never get it back.
Spend more time with your sister, in fact, do this as much as you can because you’re both getting older and moving in different directions in life and that’s a good thing.
You’ll take another year off school and dread the thought of it but learn a lot in the process. Along the way, you will lose a friend or two but it will be for the better, don’t dwell on it.
Slowly you’ll find yourself, embrace who you are and love yourself despite what and who people think you should be.
Eventually, you will come to find that no one really has their life all figured out. Others are trying to find their way just like you are in various different aspects because nobody is perfect.
It’ll surprise you that some of the friends that you thought were doing well feel the same way you do. Especially the ones that you felt looked down on you because they have fancy degrees and you only have a matric certificate.
You’ll go back to school and pay for it yourself this time while working full time. You will find that you are fully capable of accomplishing your goals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you mentally; stop doubting yourself because you are good enough.
It’s okay for you to feel lost and alone sometimes but you just have to focus on the positives. Some days you will need to search for them a little harder but believe me, it’s not all bad. Stop caring what others will think of you, their opinions are just that- their opinions.
Don’t let them affect you negatively, a lot of people don’t even know what they are talking about anyways. You are a bright and strong young woman. Believe in yourself. You are not a disappointment nor a useless person. You have a lot to offer and deserve to be loved the right way.
Please don’t spend too much time worrying about dating. All those friends of yours that think that they have it all figured it out actually don’t. There’s nothing wrong with being a so-called “late-bloomer.”
I guess my final advice to you would be: Do what makes you happy. Have no regrets.
Take responsibility but most of all let go. You are only human and it’s okay to break down and cry once in a while.