My First Solo Date

I decided to try something new and go out by myself. Usually when my friends are unavailable, I abort the mission, but I’m kind of tired of doing that. They are parents now, so they are unavailable more often.

I’ve been put alone before but it’s usually to the beach so this was a little different.

I was a little bit scared to go out and have dessert by myself. I’d been craving something sweet all week and was tired of being in the house.

Maybe reading about my solo date could inspire you to take yourself on a date…

elegant black lady using laptop while enjoying coffee in cafe
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on

The Actual Date

I decided to go to Cafe Neo because it’s super chilled and casual. I brought my laptop with me thinking I’d write a blog post while I was at it but I was too scared to write on my big-ass laptop screen. Ultimately, I ended up using my cellphone lol.

The place was buzzing that day, full of energy and the weather was quite nice outside but I opted for a seat by the entrance because it was so packed.

There were people seated at the tables around me and there was a man alone at the table in front of mine which gave me a sense of relief. I wasn’t the only one riding solo.

I ordered myself a nice little mojito (I said I wasn’t drinking, I know, but I have a cocktail once in a while) and a brownie to satisfy my sugar cravings. Later those were accompanied by fries which the waiter judgingly brought to me because my meal didn’t make sense but what business of his was that?

I felt so weird though, sitting there all alone with my laptop open. I felt like a kid doing something they’re not supposed to, not wanting to get caught. Maybe it’s because I’d never done this before, I don’t know but it was a very weird and uncomfortable feeling. For a moment, I was scared someone who knew me would walk in and feel sorry for me seeing me sitting there all alone.

Nonetheless, I decided to sit in the discomfort and see where it would take me.

The feeling of discomfort didn’t last long at all. Once I settled in with my cocktail and my meal, I started enjoying myself. I felt a spark of creativity and started drafting a blog post.

Sitting alone, I started to feel at peace and really enjoy my own company and started listening to my thoughts. I thought about how wonderful it actually is to just be able to get into my car and decide I want to go and sit in a cafe without having to consult anyone. I realized just how ridiculous it was that in the past, I cancelled plans to go out because no one would come with me and how that was just me punishing myself. Maybe I was afraid of ending up feeling lonely because no one could join me.

One interesting observation was that no one actually really cared to notice that I was out by myself because they were too busy enjoying themselves. I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb.

When I finished my meal, I paid my bill, closed my laptop and headed home. I was probably there for about an hour and I must say, it was quite a pleasurable experience. I found that it’s something I should definitely do more often and I absolutely enjoy my own company.

If you’ve never been on a solo date, you have to do it at least once. It’s good to be able to be alone and actually enjoy your own company.

Are solo dates something you enjoy or something you have yet to try? Let me know in the comments.

A true-crime-obsessed, quirky lifestyle blogger from the coastal city of East London, South Africa whose interests include reading, writing and fitness. Find me on Twitter @WeirdnLiberated.
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